Solitude
by Alexandra5
Summary: Based on the song "Solitude" by Evanescence. It's about Harry not realizing his Secret Admirer is right in front of him.


**Author Note: **This fic is based on the song "Solitude" by Evanescence. I want to clarify that this fic, as many of you may notice when you read it, is not BETA-ed. Please any suggestions are welcome! This is the first, finished, fic I "publish". Please, if you have some extra time left after reading this fic, or just get bored in the middle of it, let me know what you thought of it.

**Solitude **

by

Alexandra

Harry had found, over the summer, a new friend in Ginny. She had understood him, what he was going through with Sirius' loss like no one else did. She confronted him, unlike Ron and Hermione who just tried to confort him, when he got sulky and didn't speak to anyone. But it wasn't only good for Harry it was good for Ginny too, they could talk about anything. Get the deepest thoughts out of eachother, guess when the other was lying or when something was bothering them.

Harry has also find out about his love for Hermione. He had confided in Ginny, she tried to help him but it was hard, for she had discovered that her love for Harry had never gone away. But Harry didn't notice, he just kept telling her about Hermione, how amazing she was, how beautiful. Ginny, having to repress her feelings, began living through him. She advised Harry to do things for Hermione, little gestures, that she would've loved to do herself, for Harry. But he just looked through her, to him, she was another one of his best friends. The one he could talk to about anything, the one that would never leave his side, which was true, no matter how hard it was for Ginny to hold back her feelings (she had nearly told him a few times, when she thought she really couldn't hold it anymore, but she had, to spare them both of the pain) she would always be there for him, even if he was in love with her best friend.

She needed him, he was the thing that would make her day complete, talking to him, being near him. She loved everything he did, when they were apart she felt a hole in her heart, an emptyness that wasn't filled with anything. She had tried, dating other boys, but nothing helped. Ron was with Luna, Harry had his love for Hermione and Hermione, who was to busy studying had her love for books. She was left alone, only being able to confess her undying love for Harry to herself.

When they had begun with classes, to vent her love to someone she had decided to start writing anonymous letters to Harry.

One day, after dinner, Harry was sitting on a couch, Ginny had her head on his lap, they were talking about school (she had finally been able to get his mind off of Hermione), when suddenly Harry sat up, she rolled of the couch.

"Hey!" a, from the ground looking, Ginny yelled, "Next time you decide to let me fall, let me know, ok?"

But Harry didn't reply, he was to busy staring somewhere else. "Gin," he said in a dreamy voice, "look at her, isn't she beautiful? I love her."

Ginny turned to look and saw Hermione who had just come through the portrait hole. Ginny smiled at Harry, she just loved the way his eyes lit up and that dreamy smile got on his face. And how she wished she could cause him all those things! But it wasn't her, it was Hermione.

Harry took her out of her reverie, "Gin, hey Gin!"

"Wha'?" she responded trying to take the mental image of her and Harry out of her head.

"Look, I got one of them again this morning."

"One of the letters?"

"Yes. Hedwig brought it to me, that means whoever is this Secret Admirer is close to me, otherwise Hedwig wouldn't want to carry it," he smiled at her. Oh! How that smile could melt her! "Do you think it could be her Gin? Do you think it could be Hermione?"

"I don't know Harry," Ginny said, "Why don't you just go over and ask?"

"I don't know..." shrugged Harry. Ginny just rolled her eyes, "for one, Ron's sitting next to her and second, if it isn't her I would make a fool of myself."

"What did this one say?" Ginny asked, trying to sound cheery.

"I haven't read it yet, but here it is," he took the parchment envelope out of hsi pocket, "let's see..."

He opened it carefully and began reading it to her. But Ginny, of course, remembered what she had written. It said she couldn't just stand living another day knowing he was so close yet so far away. That no matter how much she tried she couldn't forget him, she needed him to much, she was desperate. That this was her goodbye letter, this would be the last letter she wrote to him, she had to forget him even if that meant extreme measures.

"Wow," Harry said.

"What's the matter?" Ginny asked, she had gotten very good at faking interest when it came to her letters to Harry.

"This is her last letter. And I don't think this is Hermione, beacuse she has absolutely no way to get away from me."

He kept looking at the letter, it seemed to Ginny that he was waiting for it to shout the letter of the Secret Admirer. She wanted to shake him to sickness to make him see it was her, but it appeared he had never considered that.

Finally Ginny gave up, she sat next to him on the couch, took her bag and wrote on a piece of paper:

_As much as this hurts, I'm letting go of our friendship. I was right next to you, but you saw through me. It's time to let you go. I love you, Ginny._

She left it on the table, waited for Harry to read it look at her strangely and compare her handwriting with the one from the letter, to stand up and leave for her dormitory. She wouldn't speak to cagain, in their Hogwarts live. Harry had married Hermione right after they got out of Hogwarts. He had always felt guilty by the way things had ended with Ginny, it hurt him that she didn't speak to him.

But her silence was broken before the Final Battle, when she told him she would fight next to him. He, surprised that she finally had adressed a word to him, didn't object. Harry won the battle, Ginny died in combat, jumping in front of a death curse to save him, leave his path free. At the end of the battle Harry looked back at his life, regretting having lloked through Ginny.


End file.
